Tuesday, October 19, 2010

HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS?

I have a client - let's just call her Martha - who is in stage 4 cancer. She started with breast cancer and just when she thought she had that battle won the insidious disease had spread throughout her body. A few weeks after a radical double mastectomy her husband of 12 years - a man who does not deserve to breath as far as I am concerned - walked out on her and their 8 year old child stating that she "disgusted" him physically and he just could not deal with her illness. Sweet huh? He left and did not provide her with any kind of financial assistance. She continued to work until a few weeks ago.

Martha is such a wonderfully sweet and strong person. She has struggled to survive this disease for the sake of her children (she has older children from a previous marriage) and now that she has realized that this is just one mountain she can not climb, has accepted her fate with dignity and grace and the sweetest acceptance I have ever seen. It makes me cry as I write this to know that she has lost the battle with cancer.

I filed divorced papers for her asking, among other things, that the Court force her deadbeat husband to assist her financially. Recently she called to tell me that she was "not doing well" and that she did not have the energy to fight with him. (Apparently unbeknown to me, he had been harassing her about the divorce). She asked that I hold off on the divorce until she was strong enough to handle it.

Today her sister called me to tell me that she was hospitalized and was not expected to overcome this last attack on her system. They asked that I come to the hospital to prepare a Will for her. Their fear? Under Florida law, grandparents, aunts, uncles .... nobody has any rights to a child but the mother and father. Apparently Mr. Wonderful has advised the family that once Martha dies he will no longer allow them to have any contact with the child. Mind you, over the past weeks while Martha has been in the hospital the child has been with the aunt because the father did not want to care for him.

Sadly, there is nothing I can do for them. The impotence of it makes me insane. This little boy will lose his entire family because of this man who has never been a father to him anyway. They are not only losing this wonderful lady, but also this little boy who is the light of their eyes.

I will be at the hospital tomorrow. But I can't lie to her - not even to make her feel better. Days like this make me feel so angry. To sit back and see this kind of cruelness - this kind of disgusting behavior - and not be able to do anything about it makes me so frustrated. God has to have a special place in Hell for men like these don't you think?

2 comments:

  1. Yes,I totally agree with you.what the Hell is that man thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!?People like that should be neutered.

    Poor MArtha.I really wish that I lived by you so that I could help you with the scrapbook...I did that once with a cousin-in-law who was dying of breast cancer as well.It was tough,but meanto SO much to her and to her children.
    I also agree withMartha that you are her angel!
    XO Sue

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  2. Woman, where do you get your amazing strength to fight not only your own battles but everyone elses also! You are one very special lady.
    As for poor Martha,there is some truth in the saying the good die young! How awful for her to know her boy will be with him, still let's hope there is some goodness in there somewhere because she loved him once!
    Please tell her I will keep a candle burning for her in Aus and it wont go out while she lives. My heart goes out to her and all victims of this insidious disease!

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