This is it! The last day of 2010. AMEN for that! What a year! There were good things and bad but it will absolutely go down in my memories as one of the toughest years our family has gone through. Personal loss, financial stress.... it's just been tough.
But the bottom line is we made it to another year. The losses we have experienced are losses that are expected in life... burying your parents. I don't care how "expected" it is that you bury your parents, I don't care how old they are... it's so damned painful! It leaves a hole in your heart that every once in a while bleeds out and leaves you weak and helpless.
But I can't keep thinking about that... I can't keep dwelling on how much I miss my dad... That is just something I will have to learn to live with.
My word of intent for 2011 is BREATHE and that is exactly what I plan to do. Breathe through the good times and the bad. As long as you breathe, as long as you take one breath after another, then you will survive whatever God throws your way. It's when you stop breathing... when you feel like there is no oxygen left in your life that you essentially give up. I don't think it's a sign of weakness to feel overwhelmed at times. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to go through some tough experiences. Every little thing that happens in your life, good or bad, makes you who you are and gives you a place in this crazy world.
Resolutions? I don't really believe in them. Goals? Those I have lots of. Let's see, my goals for 2011 are....
- Divest myself of unnecessary expenses that only boggle me down.
- Learn that I do not have to have every single new "gadget" or art supply that comes out!
- Spend more time with my mom. She lives a good distance from me but I really could spend more time with her than I do. She is not well and I've already experienced losing a parent, I don't want to feel guilty about anything the day she leaves me.
- Lose some weight. Not for vanity, but for health!
- Exercise more - not daily - that is just not realistic for me and my lifestyle - but a few times a week at least!
- Eat healthier so that my diabetes gets under control again!
- Do more appellate work and less trial work - I love doing trials but the stress is just too much at times.
That's it. That's my bucket list for 2011. How about you?